For the curious amongst you, yes, I am still alive and well, and yes, we really did make our way safely from Paris to Chartres…
If we were chatting together about pilgrimage, pilgrim to pilgrim, heart to heart, I would comfortably admit that pilgrimage can take us much deeper than we ever expected to go. I feel like some sort of tease, however, in writing about our explorations of the Pilgrim’s Path leading out of Paris, then suddenly going silent about what followed. Did we walk all the way to Chartres? Did we return safely? Yes and yes…. but.
But what? We arrived safely in Chartres and returned to our homes in triumph and good health. That is the summation of the outer story, but I’ve been caught in the slow unfolding of a deeper story, one in which I came home a changing person. That deeper story line deposited me in a private and quiet space where I have been confronted by an emerging sense of Self. If I were to don my psychologist’s hat, I would use the word individuation to give this context and perspective. A bit of professional jargon can go a long way toward soothing my restlessness and calming the surprises of seeing myself take an unaccustomed but confident stance or hearing myself utter newly-bold opinions. I like who is emerging, but I’m not used to her yet; I’m only just learning to trust this Brave New Woman, and I really don’t have the faintest idea of what to tell you about her.
In a sentence, one that is just forming itself into words, I feel like I have been freed from a prison I didn’t realize I was in. I know the moment it happened on our walk, I even knew at the time that a key had turned in a buried lock, and that something profound was happening… but my knowledge was at that instinctual level where images appear long before words form and organize themselves into sentences and understandings. That deeper story needs to tell itself, so I won’t say more about it now. I don’t want too many words to get in the way!
Meanwhile, let me pick up the threads of my story, from where I left them trailing out of Paris some weeks ago. It is a story in several parts which I will feed you in installments over the coming days. For now, let me just say that it feels good to be back on my blog. I am brimming with ideas and plans for the coming year, so please join me as Ariadne’s Thread weaves its way forward!